How To Treat Readers

Even as I write this article, I’m thinking that writers/authors should already know how to treat readers. I mean, does anyone really have to remind us to follow one of the golden rules – treat others the way you want to be treated.

And yet after years of observing bad behavior among my peers, I’m not so sure they know how to treat readers at all. Some probably do know, but simply don’t care…anymore. That’s fodder for another article. lol.

Hopefully this article comes across as timely advice for authors who want to avoid some of the mistakes of others. For the authors who may have become somewhat disconnected from their readership, this article may serve as a necessary wakeup call.

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Talk to them

If readers take the time to leave you comments, I think it’s only fair that you take the time to respond to them. It doesn’t have to be anything long and drawn out, but certainly some form of acknowledgment is in order. Especially since those comments add even more value to your work.

I can personally attest to the fact that readers love that one-on-one feedback. Many of my readers have become like family to me. Supportive family at that, because they quickly buy every new release I have, largely because of our ongoing fellowship.

To the writers who are fortunate enough to have millions of readers (trying real hard not to be green with envy here. lol), HIRE someone to respond to your readers for you. Preferably someone who has the same positive mindset as you.

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Be respectful

The worst thing writers can do is be disrespectful to their readers. That’s like committing career suicide.

Some of you may ask, “But what if they disrespect me first?”

My response to that is, “Toughen up and don’t stoop to their level.”

You also need to examine your options after a reader initiates the disrespect. One option is to simply delete or ignore the negative comment. Another option is to address the negative comment with dignity (publicly or privately based on the situation).

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Learn to share

I have seen the strangest phenomenon among writers lately. Some authors actually have the nerve to get upset when ‘their’ readers also support the work of others. Some of those same authors have gone on to trash their ‘rivals’ work (anonymously, of course) in order to discourage readers from supporting particular authors.

This requires a stern “Get-over-yourself!” admonition. I mean, really? Are you serious?!

Understand that readers are free agents. They can read any book they want by any author they like. No one has first dibs on them. Or any dibs at all for that matter.

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Don’t be a respecter of persons

Esteem all of your readers equally. A bad practice among some writers is to only respond to certain readers. That just reeks of clique, clique, clique. This practice gets worse when the door to the clique only squeaks open when someone famous or popular at the moment suddenly becomes a reader.

Tsk. Tsk. Come on now. We’re not in high school anymore.

When writers esteem their clique readers over everyone else, the readers who have constantly been ignored (possibly the loyal ones who have stood in the rain to buy one of your new releases) will eventually go away. When this happens, no need to question why your readership and sales are going down. You brought it all on yourself.

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Support your readers

Sometimes writers get so wrapped up with our own stuff, in trying to garner support for our work, that we forget to support the work of others.

I make a habit of visiting the websites and blogs of my readers, including my author friends. When I visit, I take the time to leave a comment or two for them. After all, one good turn deserves another, right?

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Don’t leave your readers hanging indefinitely

This last tip goes out to authors who maintain blogs and websites. Please, please, PLEASE don’t leave your readers hanging indefinitely. Even if you never finish the story you started online, even if your book release date keeps changing, please post a brief note just to let your readers know what’s going on.

I have seen some outstanding authors lose readers this way. This doesn’t have to happen. All it takes is a couple of lines to update your readers on your status.

In conclusion, I hope this article was helpful to someone. That it didn’t make anyone too angry with me. lol. Most of all, I hope this article promotes a positive change in the way writers/authors treat their readers.

© 2009 by Suprina Frazier

The Professor – Blog Treasure Hunt

Question 4: How many brothers does Baron have?

(Click on the right answer)

Five

Four

Password Clue: For

+++

If you’re late joining The Professor’s Treasure Hunt and want to read the sneak preview, click on the link below to start from the beginning:

http://www.myspace.com/michelledodsonstories

Where are the Virtuous Men?

Where are the Virtuous Men?

It seems that I am never going to write that commentary about the different kinds of men I’ve encountered in my lifetime. Other topics seem to demand the hot seat more. The same is true this time around.

*sighing*

In order not to interfere with my writing flow, I’ve decided to just go with the current flow instead. Pun intended. lol.

Anyhoo, this month’s commentary is about an often overlooked inequality in society (sadly, in religious society as well) that recently piqued my interest. That inequality involves the lack of virtuous men.

Almost any church in America preaches at some time or the other about the Proverbs 31 woman – the Virtuous Woman. Knowing that, I can’t help but wonder how many preach/teach about the need for men to be just as virtuous.

Let’s go even deeper…

How many men, that may be hearing such teachings in their church homes, even want to be virtuous? And why is it so acceptable worldwide for men to be rakes, highly promiscuous, and inherently weak in the flesh?

Am I advocating that women start lowering their morals and standards?

No.

I am advocating that men rise to the occasion and raise theirs.

Where are the men that don’t mind holding a steady job, ANY job (legitimate, of course), don’t mind paying bills, and knows (or is at least willing to learn) how to treat a woman well?

Where are the men that choose not to sleep around before and during a serious relationship because he wants to save all of himself for that one special lady? The kind of man that is not trying to put notches on his belt, signifying all the women he’s ever slept with.

Where are the Boazs in this world? The kind of man who respects a woman to the point that he will do everything in his power to not only protect her reputation, but actually make a serious commitment to her. The kind of man who’s not afraid of commitment and all that that entails.

Where are those men? If you know any, tell ‘em that I know scores of virtuous single females that are just waiting to meet them.

If you’re one of those men, I applaud you. I also encourage you to start some kind of mentoring program – help other men be just as virtuous.

If you’re not one of those men, what’s your excuse for setting your morals and standards so low? You don’t have to tell me, of course, but at least answer that question for yourself. Then go a step farther and raise your morals and standards. In short, finally become all you were meant to be on this earth.

© 2009 by Suprina Frazier

People, Please Get A Grip!

I know I was supposed to write about the different kinds of men I’ve encountered in my lifetime, but I just couldn’t. Not this month. Recent developments in the news have prompted me to address something else – the issue of obesity. Particularly the misconceived issue of obesity as it pertains to one woman.

By now many of you have heard or seen media coverage of Jessica Simpson’s recent weight gain. Some of the headlines have been downright cruel. One blogger even tried to say that President Obama called Jessica fat, which he didn’t. The man was simply amazed by the fact that her weight issue was so prominent in the news media to actually replace a picture of him with his family on a magazine cover. To see a video of the president’s exact words, click on the link below:

http://www.examiner.com/x-2490-Denver-Endurance-Sports-Examiner~y2009m2d5-Did-Barack-Obama-call-Jessica-Simpson-fat

However, my focus is not on President Obama. It is on the mixed messages people are sending to impressible little girls through their reactions to Jessica Simpson’s weight gain. I mean, how can people call a woman who is still in the single digit sizes FAT and then turn around and tell their daughters not to be anorexic or bulimic?

This is clear hypocrisy!

What’s worse is the fact that these same young girls are going to look at all this negative media coverage and draw their own conclusions on the matter. One conclusion is that they need to be as skinny as possible, by any means possible, lest they get picked on or ridiculed like Jessica. Another conclusion is that skinny people are celebrated while overweight people are shunned, barely tolerated.

In Jessica’s case the situation has gone beyond being picked on or shunned. It has turned into downright harassment. It’s almost as if some people want to punish her or something.

But for what? Gaining a few pounds? Destroying their misguided fantasies of perfection?

Jessica can get as big as she wants to, in my opinion. It’s her body. Plus celebrity or not, she’s still human, thus subject to changing metabolisms like the rest of us. My prayer is that she just stays healthy with her weight gain.

What saddens me most of all is the fact that with so many other MORE IMPORTANT issues to deal with in the world today, people are actually wasting time, energy, and money on the ridiculing of one woman. A woman who is NOT anywhere near fat!

Rant officially over now…

Suprina

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To read a preview of how one woman handled the injustices against overweight women, click below:

http://www.lulu.com/content/41734

Which Girl Are You?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have majored in Sociology instead of Accounting. The study of human social behavior is just so fascinating to me. Especially when it comes to male and female relationships, which is probably why my second career is romance writing. lol.

Anyhoo, I couldn’t resist blogging about my most recent social observations. Observations about the different kind of women I’ve met over my lifetime and how they relate to men. Some of these women I have emulated in my own life, consciously and subconsciously.

I have to start with the Party Girl. She’s the one that men like to hang out with for the good times. However, they seldom gravitate to this kind of woman when times are rough. I wonder if the Party Girl knows that her constant revelry makes her come across as unstable and irresponsible.

Next up is the Ride or Die Chick. She’s the one that will stand strong by her man’s side in times of trouble…even til death. She might even go to prison for him just to prove how much she loves him. Think Bonnie and Clyde with this girl. I wonder if the Ride or Die Chick ever stops to count the costs of her actions. Or if she has made sure that her Clyde is as into her as she is with him.

Third is the Nice Girl. The main difference between her and the Ride or Die Chick is morals. The Nice Girl won’t willingly break the law for her man. She might dance around it, but in the end, she’s going to do the right thing. A lot of ‘bad boys’ seem to like this kind of woman. Nice Girls should ask themselves if these men are with them because they want to be validated by their goodness, genuinely like who they are as people, or if the men secretly just want to corrupt them.

Fourth up is the Gotta-Have-Your-Man Girl. This is the girl that loves to pursue unavailable men, not because she really wants them, but to satisfy her addiction to the thrill of obtaining the forbidden. To feed her need for female competition. To satisfy her need for fickle victories. Sadly, the Gotta-Have-Your-Man girl seldom stays with her conquest for very long, is quickly bored, and will soon look for a new challenge. These kinds of women often end up with no man at all in the end simply due to the whole reap what you sow principle.

The Tease steps to the forefront next. This is the kind of girl that likes to be chased. She will constantly deny men what they want from her because she likes being pursued and is energized by the feeling of power that comes along with it. She understands that most men like challenges. I wonder if she realizes that everybody gets tired. That eventually men will lose interest in her, often out of pure frustration. That if what she finally gives them doesn’t measure up to their expectations, she’s going to lose them anyway.

Then there’s the Damsel-In-Distress. This is the kind of girl that makes every man she encounters feel like a knight in shining armor by always needing to be rescued. I’ve noticed that this wears thin over time. It wears thin faster when it’s the man’s turn to be in need and this kind of girl can barely hold herself up, much less him in his time of crisis.

Let’s not forget the Shower-Him-With-My-Love Girl. This girl will cater to a man’s every need, not because its her pleasure to do so or that he even deserves it, but because she has internal issues going on. One issue might be a warped sense of trying to earn the man’s love and faithfulness through service. Another issue might be to make herself indispensable to him so that he will need her, thereby guaranteeing herself a place in his life. Shower-Him-With-My-Love Girls don’t realize that doing too much for men can emasculate them, provoke boredom, and cause them to start taking them for granted.

Then there’s the Side Chick. This is the woman that really doesn’t want to be anybody’s wife or girlfriend. She just wants to get her needs (financial, physical, etc…) met by a willing man. It doesn’t matter to her if he’s married or in some other kind of committed relationship. The relationship, if you can even call it one, is strictly all about her. Although the Side Chick knows that men will eventually get tired of these one-sided relationships, she prepares for that day by having a stable of men to fall back on. The downside to being this kind of girl is the risk of backlash. No one likes to be used. Some may even strike back in violence.

Finally, there’s the Lie-To-Myself Girl. This kind of girl misinterprets or misconstrues everything a man tells her. In short, she hears what she wants to hear. If a man says, “I don’t want a serious relationship,” she silently adds, “right now,” at the end of his sentence. Then she proceeds to go out of her way to change his mind, including giving him her body. I wonder if she knows how much she keeps selling herself short just to have a particular man. I’ve also found that the Lie-To-Myself Girl has a tendency to resist truth and will often get mad at the messenger(s) of truth.

As I made this abridged list out, I thought about how many of the above girls I have been over the years. About all the lessons I learned as a result, some of which I shared today.

Even now I ask myself, was being certain girls worth all the trouble I reaped? Did the benefits outweigh the consequences? Did my self-esteem or sense of self-worth rise or fall as a result of those roles I played?

Sometimes yes, but mostly no.

Now I have a question for the ladies reading this blog, which girl(s) are you? For the guys, which of these girls have you encountered?

© 2009 by Suprina Frazier

Next month: A list of the different kinds of men I’ve encountered.

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